Day 9: Hope

I may be a freak, but I won't bow to you.

Soo...I'm feeling much better today than yesterday, if that's possible. I have been using the advice given in my book, "Your Best Life Now" by Joel Olsteen, and I have had things go my way. I've been able to think clearer, and I am just...happy.

Have you ever felt that way? Just complete solace and peace. I think it's easiest achieved by staring at a dying fire, alone (or holding onto someone special), in complete silence because you don't want to wake the others in the house, and you feel...complete. That's happened to me once. I didn't care if I died that night. I just knew that I was good. I was saved, I had no regrets, and...I was surrounded (metaphorically) by many friends.

I guess I just feel like the barrier between me and God has been lifted or stretched so far that I can see right through it.

I'm learning to appreciate everything I come into contact with, and I'm starting to. My MP3 player busted on the bus yesterday, and I just put it up, didn't obsess about it, so just started talking to my friends. Everything is just a blessing in disguise.

For anyone reading this, take the time to just proclaim your positive future. Just remember that you control your future by your thoughts, and your thought influences your actions, and your actions affect your life. If you just think positively, such as, "I'm gonna date her soon," or "My career WILL start to move along the right tracks," it'll happen. You influence your own future. Remember to thank God afterwards. It'll keep the blessings coming. You just have to accept them.

Still looking for a name for my main character.

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone!

Days 7 & 8: Peacefulness

So sorry I didn't get to post yesterday. I had a huge amount of homework...for one subject. But I'll get to that later.

This is officially the happiest day of my life. (Day 8) First off, on Day 7, I was really enlightened by a book I had, and I started to apply the principles introduced in the book. Second, I woke up to a cool, crisp morning (in the midst of a hellisly hot week), and third (drumroll please), I got to play...STARCRAFT II! Everything is amazing, and I just love what they've done with it. It is only 26 missions long, and those are only Terran, but I'm hoping for an expansion or five.

First block, I had a test. Over the whole freaking unit. The eigth day into the school year. Yeah...but, I think I aced it. I mean, I did over 3 hours of what's called a "Reading Check," which is comprehensive over just the fifth chapter, and I think I understand it better now. But...it was a little long...14 pages and 63 problems...I think someone just wants to make our lives a bit harder.

Second block:  STARCRAFT II. I seriously played that the whole block. We had a substitute, and she didn't care. We were just watching a movie over what we've just read, anyway. So, I sat down in front of a friend's $2000 Alienware laptop, and commenced to wiping out the Zerg population, one bullet at a time.

Third block:  The teacher talked most of the time...pretty boring, actually. We didn't do anything big, anyway.

Last block:  I finally learned how to use Joomla! I was just sitting there, playing around with it, because it is even harder to use than plain HTML. I mean, HTML isn't hard, but it's time consuming. Bleh. Ooh...an adminstrator on Joomla doesn't even get to view the help pages...you have to be a "Super Adminstrator." And the "leader" of the class doesn't want to give me that power yet. I guess she just doesn't trust me yet. Oh well.

This may go against my "drifting" idea, but there is one girl that might be showing interest. I mean, being a loner, I try to stand by myself, and she immediately walked up to me and started talking. And she is not the type to want to just talk to someone so they don't feel so left out. When I was working on a different computer than usual, she decided to sit right next to me. So...if anyone else sees something I don't, please, let me know.

Oh, yeah, I also need a good name for a timid 16-year-old boy and a good title for a story that invloves the same boy who is chosen to wield the power of an "Ancient", although he was not conceived, but created in a lab. Any suggestions?

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone!

Day 6: Drifting

Well, I believe I will no longer try to get a dateable woman. If one lands in my lap, I guess I'll just work from there.

Seriously, the girl I was talking about yesterday...Her interest in me went from 7 to 2 on the ten point scale. Soo...

Finally, my first real Friday of the school year. Whoohoo! So, I shall take my time and pwn a bunch of Locust. (Gears of War, for all you non-gamers)

Still, being Friday, my day was pretty rough. First class, AP Bio, the teacher went on and on about proteins, and how there's anywhere from a 2 to 4 step system to make them. And that just depends on the type of protein. And then that each amino acid that forms the protien was the same, basically, except for a "R" variable, which can hold around 20 different arrays of atoms, creating many different amino acids. Yay.

In AP English, I watched the worst movie EVER. It was the origional Lord of the Flies, and it sucked. I mean, the acting was horrible! I understand the time period did not allow computer generation, but they could have at least made the characters a little bit more realistic, and actually based them on Golding's origional book! Piggy was portrayed as slow and retarded, rather than witty and smart. Ralph was portrayed as immature, rather than the most mature on the island. (he was also supposed to have blonde hair, not brown!) The only one they portrayed well was Jack.

In AP History, I had an essay test. Yay. I think I did all right, except I started to babble during the conclusion. Eh. At least we didn't have to listen too much today.

And then there was Journalism. I had a Photoshop competition with one of the previous Journalism guys that had already graduated. And I blew him out of the water. That was awesome. He was good, I give him that. But, you know, the point was to have fun, and that we did.

So...in conclusion...I had a pretty good day. I don't expect too much, and I will be guaranteed to have a good day. How's that for a wierd philosophy?

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone!

Day 5: Restarting

I still have no followers...wow, this is crappy.

Here I am on my first "Day of Nicknames", if you will. I succeeded, but I don't know how well...eh.

Maybe my life isn't so bass akwards, after all. I mean, I do have an email from YALE in my inbox...And I have about 10 good friends. So...maybe it was just a funk. But, I will still keep my attitude positive and disposition positive.

Eh...I haven't laid out my day in a while, so...

First Class:  AP Bio:  Learned majorly carbohydrate chains and chemical formulas, then we started with lipids. Yeah. It's Bio, but it's really BioChemistry. Yay me.

Second Class:  AP English:  Holy freaking crap it's getting boring. We take way too long going over Lord of the Flies again...it's about to drive me insane. And, we have about three projects that we don't fully know about.

Third Class:  AP History:  I don't think I ever made this clear...We have our lunch at the beginning of the block rather than in the middle to avoid breaks in tests. So...we eat earlier than 4/5 of the school. Yay us. Now, there's a single girl (junior) that sits at my table at lunch, and she's also in my History class...and all through lunch, and I'm not joking, I swear she just stares at me, almost appreciatively. I look over, (with my nice face, mind you) and she quickly turns away. She almost never talks, and she's just the type of person you would want to bring home to your family:  nice, quiet, beautiful, humble, smart...just everything you want in a girl...and she's a CHRISTIAN!!! So...I'm gonna give it a few more days, see how things play out. See if she retains interest.

The pathetic part is, I know her name: Lydia (or at least I think that's how it's spelled), and I've never talked to her before. I've never even said hello. I think I want to say hello tomorrow.

The class itself was...eh. It wasn't good, but it wasn't bad. We just learned that Columbus was an extremely evil man who sold sex slaves and thought himself God's messenger. I already knew this because he was my research subject in Spanish II (go figure), but everyone else was like, "Holy crap my teachers have lied to me."

Fourth class:  Journalism:  It's good to be the techie. I think I just usurped the power of the Leading Yearbook Editor, moving myself to #2 and her to #3 (under the teacher, of course). It was just so funny how the teacher put me in charge of Photoshop, and all of a sudden, she's furious. Ah...the joys of being a super techie.

I think I'll say hi at lunch...

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone!

Day 4: Feeling Lost

Less and less things make sense when you're a teenager.

To sum up my day...I discovered that I don't know who I really am.

Yesterday's post has gotten me thinking: "What am I going to do to rectify my problems?" The only answer I ever got was: "You can't change it. You have to change yourself." So...here I am now, red eyed and still sniffling. Yes, I'm a super awesome, super huge and super buff guy, and, yes, I'm crying...It's painful to admit it, but I actually have feelings. I want to look mean and forboding, but it just doesn't work for me. It won't work for me in the future. I will never meet a nice girl...well, I will probably meet a nice girl, but I would never be able to even date one...if I don't change my disposition. You know what? I'm gonna resolve, as my first step, to start calling my two best female friends by their nicknames...Aly and Merry. Maybe that'll show how I'm actually human instead of super Spartan warrior...Maybe I could finally walk down the halls and say, "I'm NOT going to kick you down the well."

I don't know how well it will work, so, please, anyone reading this, if you could please leave a comment telling me other ways I could become more approachable. If you do, I would be eternally grateful.

Oh, I almost forgot:  I'm still not learning Joomla. Whoop-de-do.

And I still don't know whether to grab on tightly to any one thing or just float for a little while longer.

I didn't talk about that before? Oh well. I'm bringing it up now.

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone!

Day 3: Re-Psyching (or not)

Two essays in one week...yep, I think I'm gonna fail.

To be completely honest, I've been feeling a little under the weather. I mean, all my classes were cool, but my disposition was depressed, maybe even uncaring. Maybe it's a result of my past, maybe it's a result of a lack of affection for any one thing or idea. Ah...you don't understand yet, so I guess I have to tell you.

For my entire life, up until about a year ago, I was always regarded as the "loner." My mother had bi-polar disease for most of my childhood, and that made my life at home almost unbearable. I had to almost stay out of her way to make sure I didn't get in trouble. I went into elementary school, and, with the exception of K-3rd grade, I was looked at as someone...unreachable, maybe even unwanted. No, scratch that. I was unwanted. So, it taught me to live for myself. And, I did that.

It wasn't until the 6th grade that I discovered I was smart. I thought, "Maybe this will change things. Maybe people won't avoid me now." That was a lie from my subconcious. If anything, that hightened it. People would only come to me with problems, nothing more. At the end of 8th grade, I only had a couple really good friends. The rest...abandoned me and my ideas.

So, I got to High School. I changed my disposition. I went from happy and cheerful to dark and forboding. When I was happy in elementary school, I was always looked down on. So, I thought this would change things. Little did I know, it would make me the one most feared person in my High School. I would walk down the halls as even a sophmore, and students would part, allowing me to pass. I guess that has attributed to my lack of even social relationships...

For example, I would bring up the word "date" and any girl would change the subject or destroy my soul from the inside out. Or, even worse, they would lie, trying not to hurt my feelings, and then back out later. What people don't understand is being turned down after being accepted is the worst feeling in the world. It's like getting into Harvard, getting there, and them saying "Oh, so sorry, we found someone with more experience." It's something you just don't do.

Well, now that I've droned on, I guess I'll tell you one more thing:  deep inside, past all the masks and metaphors of my life, I'm a calm and caring person. I just wish I could get someone to see it and accept it as who I am, not who I want to be.

And my mentions about girls checking me out...it's just to boost my own morale because no one else does. Fancy that.

Enough about that...Tomorrow I start to learn the web-page program "Joomla." Yay me.

Hmph. Now that I've told you my life story, I guess I get to leave. Or not.

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone.

Day 2: Relief

Of all the things I could have done, why would a person like me want to go into AP History? Because it's awesome.

Here's the breakdown of my day. First class:  we learned what we already learned during the summer homework. And, we learned that no one in the school knows why/how oxygen and hydrogen form a 104.5 degree angle when bonded into water. Hmph. Well, AP Bio was a waste. Oh yeah, if I have to learn the hybrid orbitals, I'm gonna fail.

Second class:  AP English. Well, this was fairly easy. We had a sub. How hard could it be? Oh yeah, I almost forgot. We had to write an essay for the work that day. Luckily, it was about one of our favorite pictures, and how it affected my life. This is it in its finished form.

"The Cascade" by Andrew Christiansen

A Picture Makes Time Stand Still

Contradiction. That's the simple nature of this world. As one life begins, another ends. The world stays unpredictable. Peace is but an ideal, not a reality. But, in spite of all this, there is joy and hope. Without such, there would be no reason for living, and no one would stop to behold a simple cascade of flowers growing on the side of the road. At the beginning of the summer, this cascade seemed to be a symbol of hope. But, by the end, it wept the story of the passing season.

The summer began like any other--a joyous time of pure freedom. A couple of days in, however, my joy was crushed by a single call from my grandmother. My grandfather had just had his first brush with death. Concerned, my mother left immediately to help and upon her arrival to their house, my second oldest dog died during one of his seizures. The cascade withered in my heart, leaving nothing but an empty husk, breaking my soul.

As hopeless as it may seem, my husk began to heal as time went on. My grandfather was on the mend, and the hole left from my dog was filled with chores and my care for my grandfather. The sorrow waned, and I became hopeful again, like the sun rising after a long and cold night. I began to hope of days yet to come, but the cascade shall always weep for me.




 
Depressing, huh?
 
Third class:  AP History. This had to be the most fun I've had all day. First off, the teacher used to be a preacher, so you can imagine how that worked out. Second, he's explaining the "WHY" of history rather than the "WHAT." This is gonna be fun.
 
And lastly, Journalism. All I had to do was learn what I already knew. Lucky me. And, one of the cute girls from the newspaper staff was checking me out all block. Even luckier me.
 
Who am I kidding? I'm just a simple guy that's obsessed with video games. And, judging by the essay, I'm much deeper than I thought. So...I just contribute all I do to the gifts I have recieved from one person. And that one man...is God. Without you, nothing is possible.
 
Now that I've gotten all sentimental, I guess I can just go and leave you crying. Or not.
 
And with that, *POOF* I'm gone!

Day 1: The Beginning

Hmph. Wouldn't you know it. After so long, I finally started a blog...so...where to start.

I'm Andrew, and I'll be telling you about my last years as a child going into adulthood.

Day 1:  I walk into my school as a senior today. I don't feel all that different. Well, except for the fact that I made a 30 on my ACT and I have an email from Yale in my inbox. So, I go to my first class, AP Bio. She hands me a packet as big as the book and says it's the syllabus. Wow. So that's where the forest outside the school went...

Anyway, after listening to her explain the first half of the packet, I move to my second class, AP English. Waste of time that class was. All the teacher did was read us some poetry. And they call it a hard class.

Third class...American History. The one junior class I have to take as a senior because I skipped it for Pre-Calc. Well, a couple days later I just swapped it over to AP History, so all's good.

Last class of the day: Journalism. Yep, the reason for the title. I was recruited, and notice that word, RECRUITED as the Techie because of my mad skillz. Seriously, I would walk in the computer class and the teacher would yell, "Get out! You get a hundred! Just please don't hack me!"

Maybe I'm overstating it. Oh well. I was recruited because of my ability to pick up programs like I just got done using them yesterday. I'd master a single set of code in 30 minutes in HTML. And master Photoshop in 45. So, I was good. Got done with the class and noticed all the girls in there (me being the only guy) were staring at me. It must have been my sexy bod and super-spiky hair. Or maybe it was the bit of lettuce stuck to my shirt from lunch...Stupid stain.

Well, I got home, and went to sleep. I mean, everyone knows teenagers need 18 hours of sleep each day. Come on. Well, I'm up for tomorrow.

And with that, *POOF* I'm gone.